


no one writes cards about unrequited love

by TheSwanWriter



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Basically Brienne's heart is broken, Best Friends, F/M, OOC, One-Sided Attraction, Short, Unrequited Love, and it's jaime's fault, and she finally realizes, ok, this basically is crazy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-14 03:23:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4548408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSwanWriter/pseuds/TheSwanWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>maybe because it is not beautiful</p><p>- brienne realizes she's in love with jaime -</p>
            </blockquote>





	no one writes cards about unrequited love

It was with a quiet shock, on what would have otherwise been a normal, crisp, foggy autumn morning in third period Statistics, that Brienne finally realized the truth.

In hindsight, it was the sort of thing that should've been obvious. Thinking about it afterwards, she felt like she'd always sort of known, in the back of her mind. It was as if she'd been living in a room with the curtains eternally drawn, the bright light forever looming as a possibility but never an acknowledged desire. 

For how long, she didn't know. But oh, it made sense now. Sansa's and Margaery's odd giggles, Renly's inquisitive glances whenever they went out together, her father's surprising excitement that she wasn't staying home on prom night for once. 

But it was not a happy discovery. 

It was this discovery that caused her to accept the simple beauty of Jaime's smile and the way it brightened the day and parted the clouds. Of course, it had forever been that way. He had always been a light in her life, nothing had changed there.

And while all the movies and the cards and the books would say that this realization of complete, unadulturated adoration is beautiful, Brienne discovered, surrounded by people she didn't know, ears flooded with music she didn't understand, that quite the opposite was true.

Because while she loved Jaime, while he was her best friend and her other half and the one who saved her life whether he knew it or not, he did not feel the same.

And no movies, paintings, or cards are created for unrequited love because it is not beautiful. It is selfish, absurd, an impossible paradox of feeling and heart-wrenching emotion. Brienne was not happy in love, she was miserable. She wanted to preserve the innocent, playful, pure friendship that gave her a reason to smile. She wanted to destroy these selfish desires to be the one he held, the one who comforted him through his tears and stood by his side through the strongest of storms. She wanted her friend back. She wanted to stop feeling like she was drowning in thoughts of him whenever she heard a ridiculous love song. She wanted to breathe.

But it was too hard. Too hard to watch him caress _her_ neck and wrap his arms around _her_ and kiss _her_ cheek and hold _her_ close and lavish _her_ in his love.

So she looked away, and with a steadfast grin, she pretended.

She pretended to be happy when Jaime asked for help picking up girls, when he asked her opinions on his dreadful pick up lines. And she pretended to be okay for the first time when he asked her if she was alright. And she lied.

And it was with a quiet sob that Brienne realized the worst part of being in love with your best friend isn't not being loved back.

It's that the one person who's always there for you, who holds you as you cry, who makes you laugh and smile and helps you fix yourself, the _only_ one you open up to cannot comfort you.

Because they're the reason you're falling apart.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this cause I was sad and had a lot of feelings and it fricking sucks so why did you read it? I am sorry for you.


End file.
